Pain, Pain and Pain, Unbearable Pain - Sorry But I Can't Hold It Anymore. Hence, Sharing It With The World

Once again, sharing my pain with the world. Because, I can't hold it anymore in my heart. Its becoming unbearable. Its painful. Why it happens with me? Everytime I love someone, she goes away from me. This time once again, i fear that she will go with him. I used to be the most positive person, I ever knew. Then how come, I have become so negative? So negative, that I fear losing her. Love has given me nothing more than pain. It seems I am having a lifetime company of pain. It will be with me throughout my life.

It is such unbearable situation, that neither I can tell her, nor I can hide it inside my heart. How can I tell her that nobody in this world can love her the way I do. Noone will be able to understand you, the way I do. You are my best friend, But I want you to become My Lifetime Friend. My Partner Of Every Joy I have, I won't any sorrow come in your way. I will lie over every thorn that comes in your way.

God is not listening to me. Am I a Sinner? What is the Sin, I did in my past life? Did I hurt any lovers? Did I hurt anyone's feelings so hard, that God is taking revenge with me in this life? I request God to kill me, but set me free from this pain. Or if he has any memory eraser, erase her memories from my life.